BRIDEZILLA!
by vapid-nomenclature
Summary: RAWR! Mai is getting married! Run! Andy and his friends have a Bachelor Party while the girls have to deal with the monster that is Mai. Terry, Joe, Robert, Ryo, and Andy party. Mary, Kasumi, Yuri, King, and Xiangfei try to....


Andy VS Bridezilla!!!

The wedding is approaching!!!!! Mai has lost her mind!!! Run!!!! There's cursing in here, just to warn you.

I don't own King of Fighters

* * *

Terry, Joe, Ryo, Robert, Kim, and Andy usually played poker on Sunday nights, but they decided to relocate, as usual, at Andy's request. "Good,

that slutbag isn-" Andy interrupted. "_Joe…_" Joe folded his arms. "Andy, we can't keep doing this. Damn." Andy started sweating. "She's been

belligerent since the wedding's Saturday. She's a total Bridezilla." Joe huffed. "Well, you're marrying her. Deal with it." Robert looked up. "He's

right, man." Andy sighed. "I know, you're right." Then, he looked at Kim. "Did you have to go through this much hassle?" Kim shook his head,

shrugging. "Not really. Just usual wedding stress, I guess." Joe rolled his eyes. "**PUH** _lease_, Kim. We're talking about **Mai**. It's not **USUAL** wedding

stress. It's MAI'S **USUAL** stress, **PERIOD**." Kim silently agreed, but his face said otherwise. Terry got out of his chair and patted his brother on the

back. "Relax, man. We still have the Bachelor Party." He winked. Andy smiled. Then, he stood up. "Guys, you're my best buds. Thanks for

supporting me. It means a lot to me."

* * *

Back at King and Mai's....

Mai was walking back and forth extremely fast, ready to scream. "I want this **GOD**DAMN wedding to be **fucking** perfect, and look what happens!!"

Mai was referring to her dress, which someone spilled some soda on it. No one knew who though! Yuri tried to calm her down. "Like, it's no big

deal. Put it in the washer," she suggested nonchalantly. Mai blinked many times and flushed red. "NO BIG DEAL?!?!THE WA** NO BIG DEAL!!!!!?!?! **

**PUT IT IN THE WASHER??ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!**" She started strangling her friend. Yuri was trying to pry her hands off while choking. King, Mary, and

Xiangfei had to run over and get Mai to stop. Kasumi watched.

Yuri was catching her breath, and wiping her tears as King rubbed her back. "Jesus, this wedding's going to be more of a nightmare than a

blessing." She looked around just to make sure Mai didn't hear her. Just to make sure….

* * *

Fast Forward to Thursday.....

It was Thursday night and the guys were getting ready for the Bachelor Party. Kim stayed home, but said he'd be there for the rehearsal. He had

to be there, as he had to fulfill his duty. Or he may not live through it. Mai pulled Andy aggressively aside while everyone else involved in the

wedding congregated at Mai and King's. "Andy, listen to me." Andy attentively listened. "Yes, dear." Joe overheard Andy say this and as he walked

past to go to the kitchen, he coughed "_wuss_". Mai heard this and whipped her head towards him. "**JOE**. Shut the fuck up, you asshole. I'm going to

seriously tear you a new one. Geez Louise…" Andy sighed. Joe laughed and continued. "Why is he in the fucking wedding…" Mai shook her head,

muttering. Then, her eyes lit up once more. "Oh, anyway, listen to me. You are not allowed to go to any establishments that promote prostitution,

pole dancing, stripping, etc. You get my drift?" She finished counting on her fingers and broke it into a gesture while staring for her fiancé's reply.

"Yes, dear," he said again, in predetermined compliance. Mai saw Joe come back. Joe was smirking. Mai punched him very hard on the shoulder. "I

fucking mean it, don't you screw up the **damn** wedding!!!! I fucking mean it!!! I'll rip off your head, Joe. **Trust** me, I **will**." Joe, rubbing his shoulder,

shot back, "Doesn't surprise me." He walked back to where Terry, Yuri, and Ryo were playing Rock Band 2. "I, like, suck at drums…" Yuri declared

forlornly. Ryo tried to cheer his sister up. "You got a D. That's better than an F." Yuri sulked, and passed the drumsticks to Xiangfei. "You did fine!"

Xiangfei was telling her. Andy came back to the family room where everyone was conversing and playing games to gather up the guys. "Hey guys!

Bachelor Party!" Terry and Ryo immediately dropped their guitars mid song, leaving Xiangfei at the drums. Fail screamed around her. Joe leaped

over King who was talking to Kasumi. They seemed to be in a deep conversation. King looked up after almost getting kicked in the face. "Why's Joe

in the wedding….?" She commented. Kasumi waited for King to finish. They were talking about trying to get Kasumi to get along with the Kyokugen

practitioners during the weekend. Kasumi sucked it in and said fine. She just wanted Mai to have a good wedding and she cared about her.

* * *

"Mai, we're about to leave." Andy called out in the doorway. Robert had called a limo service to take them to wherever they were planning to go.

Mai scurried outside. "Ooh, Andy!!! Wait, wait, wait, wait!!! Come here!!!" As Terry, Ryo, Robert, Joe, walked toward the limo, Andy walked back to

Mai from the parking space as she stood on the steps. "A few things. One, go pick up Kim. I know he said he didn't want to go, but since he's in

our wedding, at least invite him out. Make sure he's at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow. Got it?" Andy said his line. "Yes, dear." "**AND**…you guys

better be on your best behavior for tomorrow. Got it?" Andy said it again. Mai's eyes fluttered and put a hand on her hip. "So, where are you guys

going?" she inquired sweetly, but with obvious suspicion as she inched closer towards her man. "Just so I know." Andy shrugged. "We were just

going to… wing it." Mai's eyes grew. "Meaning…"Andy tittered. "Y-y-you know…wing it…?" He flapped an arm. The guys are looking out the

windows now. Mai crossed her arms. "I hope that means 25 cent chicken wings, mister…" Andy surrendered to his love. "I love you, honey. I gotta

go now." Mai, while still crossing her arms, gave Andy a peck. "I love you. Be back here **ON TIME**." Andy was running to the limo. "**ANDY**. Did you

hear me??" Andy stopped dead in his tracks. "Yes, dear." Mai walked back into the apartment. Andy got in, and the guys burst out into laughter.

"hey, fuck you, guys," Andy snapped.

* * *

The guys are riding around in the limo. Ryo is kicking back and relaxing. Terry's sipping on some Bud Light. Joe's making fun of Terry for drinking

Bud Light, Robert's on the phone with Yuri, and Andy…well, Andy's got things on his mind. Then, he perked. "Kim." Everyone stopped. Robert even

accidentally hung up. "Kaphwan?" Ryo questioned. Andy nodded. Terry spoke. "He's one of our best buds, for sure, but he would frown upon

everything we do tonight." Andy reminded Terry that Kim occasionally drank a beer or two. Robert whispered loudly in a sing-sang manner. "He's

maaaaaarried." Harmonious concordance arose. Ryo then wanted to say something. "Well, we can't leave him out." Terry nodded. "I can call him."

_(ring)_

few moments later…

_"Hello, you have reached Kim Kaphwan. I may be busy fighting crime at the moment. Leave me a message and I'll surely get back to you. Justice will be defended. Have a great day. Don't do drugs."_

Terry stifled laughter before the beep.

"KIM!! It's Terry! Hey, bud! Call me back! We're partying tonight before the rehearsal dinner tomorrow!! C'mon, c'mon!!"

* * *

"Yeah, I know, his voice mail's kinda corny…" Robert remarked. Ryo was looking out the window. "So, where are we going tonight?" Everyone

looked at Andy. Andy stuttered. "Um….er…we could spar-" Ryo shook his head. "**DUDE**….it's your wedding! We all love fighting, but come on!!"

Terry agreed. "We can spar anytime, bro. Plus, we gotta be in good shape tomorrow." The guys nodded. Andy was now thinking of something.

"Well, Mai said we-" Robert cut him off. "What, did Mai tell you where to go?? Come on!! You're a big, strong man! Act like one!!" That rang in

Andy's head like the church bells he would hear on Saturday. He got assertive. "You're right! **Fuck** what Mai says right now. Let's party." The guys

cheered and clapped. Joe snickered while looking around to the gang. "Wow, I think I heard some balls growing, you guys." He gestured by

holding his hand to his ear. Andy punched him on the shoulder. "Dammit, dude! That's the same one Mai punched!!" They all laughed.

* * *

"Mai, hey," King said firmly, but gentle enough, to her roommate as they were getting ready for the Bachelorette Party at the house. "Don't worry

about Andr-,er, Andy, okay? He IS a grown man." Mai surprisingly was calm. "You're right. He is." King was a bit startled. "Um…." Mai then slammed

her hairbrush on the sink while King was applying deodorant. "He is, and if he decides to stay out late, fine. **BUT**…I **swear**, if he misses the

rehearsal dinner, his balls are **MIIIINE**. And not in a good way, either." King gulped. She knew Mai could be full of rage, but during the week of the

wedding, she and Yuri had to plaster the walls where Mai either threw things (or Andy) against the wall, or simply punched it. "King," Mai said

firmly. "I'm going to **make** sure that he doesn't **screw** this up. **Dammit**, I will make sure."

* * *

Terry and the guys settled on getting a hotel room and just partying all night. Robert paid for the suite upstairs. "My treat, Andy. You're the man."

Andy gave him a man hug. "Thanks, guys. You all are the shit." They all got on the elevator.

They stood in, as the elevator was taking them to the top floor. It stopped to pick someone up. A gorgeous redheaded woman got on. She smiled.

She really smiled at Robert. He gestured a friendly nod. Joe noticed. "We're up on the 20th floor." Andy's face flushed with embarrassment. Ryo

smirked. The woman lit up. "Okay, I'll bring up my friends then!!" She got off on the 14th floor. "See you in a bit!!" She glanced again at Robert.

None of the guys knew whether to hi five Joe or to smack him, especially Robert. Ryo and Terry wanted to hi five though. Joe held out his hands

and his mouth dropped partially. "_You're welcome…?_"

* * *

Mai furiously raided the fridge because Mary and Kasumi hadn't come back from the sandwich place yet, and she was starved. They had ordered

several large submarine sandwiches and Mai sent them to go pick it up. Mai grabbed some garlic and onion crackers, and went to grab the Cheese

Whiz. To her horror, it was not in the place she usually puts it. Uh oh, she was going to blow! She was fuming mad!!! "WHERE'S THE **FUCKING**

CHEEZE WHIZ???? ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! **RAAAAAAAAAWWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**" Mai screamed at the top of her

lungs. The place felt like it vibrated and hit the Richter Scale at 6, and she was the epicenter. Something was thrown and glass broke. King, Yuri,

and Xiangfei were startled as they were upstairs. Guess what? They scrambled off to hide in the closet. Earlier, Mai started screaming and making

demands. Yuri had been a victim long enough to Mai's torture, so she was the most panicky. Well, no wonder! Suddenly, a shuddery King thought

of something. "Li, you went through the fridge last, didn't you??" Xiangfei was frantic. "Why the fuck do you think I'm hiding?!?" Yuri was trying to

hush the two by hissing "shut up" at them. They then heard Mai stomping in harsh rhythm up the stairs, screaming on the phone. "WELL, YOU

BETTER GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE **NOW**!!!!! I'M HUNGRY AS **FUCK**, GOD**DAMMIT**!!!! I'M ABOUT TO **FUCKING** KILL SOMEBODYYYY!!!!!!!!" Xiangfei

started sobbing. Yuri got worried and hissed at her again. Mai entered the bedroom that they were in and hearts beat wildly as Mai stood akimbo

with piercing eyes that could mind as well melt steel and obliterate flesh. She scanned the room, looking for prey. "I know you motherfuckers are in

here, **COME** out, goddammit, and let's fucking **have** a fucking Bachelorette Party god fucking **DAMMIT**." Yuri was the first to slowly come out

voluntarily after 10 seconds had passed. It had seemed to drag. Mai rushed towards her throat like a velociraptor, and

King and Xiangfei darted to peel Mai off of Yuri. The door opened downstairs to their saving grace. Mary and Kasumi had finally arrived. There was

small chatter downstairs, mostly Kasumi complaining about the service. Mai turned her attention towards that, and practically flew downstairs.

Seconds later, Mary and Mai were in a heated argument downstairs. Geez! King, Xiangfei, and Yuri went down to see and suddenly Kasumi was

now yelling at Mai. "Bitch." She slung at Mai and stormed away. The girls were silent. A minute later, it got preeetty awkward. Mai did not approve.

"Well, let's FUCKING eat!!" Mai roared. She then went over to the mini fridge to grab some drinks. King ran and pulled her away.

"Nonononononononooooooo….nuh uh. Nope! No alcohol for YOU." Mai turned around, narrowed her eyes. "It's MY party, King…" King crossed her

arms. "Well, that's MY booze." They stared intensely into each other for almost 30 seconds. Mai gave up and went to the table. Mary was

frustrated by her friend's presence. "Okay, let's try to have fun…" Kasumi came back out, completely refreshed, but seemed like she punched

pillows. Or walls…. Mai started to calm down. She snatched a sandwich and tore into it, almost pushing Xiangfei out the way. "Wow…this actually

tastes pretty good!!" She was now in good spirits. Nervous laughter emanated from the others.

* * *

They were settled in the hotel, there was pizza everywhere, beer, and it was the life. Andy was pensive. "Usually, I carried all of Mai's luggage

when we got our room at tournaments." Robert put a hand on Andy's shoulder. "Man, you're one of my bros, but don't let that woman walk all

over you. It's not good." Joe chimed in mid-eating a slice of pizza,"Yeah, put a bitch in her place." Robert and Ryo desperately wanted to laugh, but

seeing Andy was right there, it wasn't looking like a good idea. Andy threw his hands up. "Joe!! You're in my fucking wedding party! Jesus!" Joe

walked up to Andy, who was on the couch. His tone changed. "Seriously, man. You're a great friend of mine, I'll always look out for you, but careful,

man. Women are predatory creatures."

* * *

Moments later, a knock on the door was heard. Lots of giggling outside Joe ran to grab the door, when Andy tripped him. "Dude…no…Mai will kill

me!!!" Robert sighed. "I would say don't worry so much, but Yuri can be quite mouthy when she's mad." Ryo instantaneously agreed. "Yeah, she's

kinda of an annoying brat at times…." The knocks came again. Terry shrugged. "We're cool. Let 'em pass." Joe was angry. "What about me???"

* * *

The next morning….. They had to be at the rehearsal dinner at 6 sharp. It was already 11:45AM. Joe came back to their hotel room wearing only a

towel. He looked extremely disappointed. Ryo wearily looked up from under the coffee table. He had his head in a pizza box, and had pizza all over

his face. "Duuuuuuude....... you just shower.........?" Joe crossed his arms. "Man, it wasn't worth it." Terry woke up on the countertop in the hotel

room kitchen. He looked around and saw lemons all around him. He was utterly confused. "Um, Joe….what WASN-ohhhhhhhh….wow. What

happened….?" Robert came in the room everyone was. "I fell asleep in the jacuzzi, naked, and it was full of beer…" A loud bang was heard and a

massive thud was heard. Andy yelped. "OWWW!! WHAT THE **FUCK**, YOU GUYS!!" Andy somehow got on top of the shelf in the closet. Joe looked

over. "Apparently I missed something…."

* * *

Mai was having a fit downstairs. She was being extremely pouty, tossing her shoes around, and erratically screaming. "HEY, YOU STUPID **ASS **

BITCHES!!!! WE **FUCKING** NEED TO GET TO THE REHEARSAL….NOW!!!!!!!!" King, Xiangfei, Kasumi, Yuri, and Mary scurried downstairs. Mai gave

King a heavy stare. "You're wearing a dress tomorrow, King. I mean it." King snarled. She looked over at Kasumi. She frowned quickly. "Um….like,

why isn't your hair done…?" She was referring to Kasumi's sloppy ponytail. "I didn't have time." Mai's nostrils flared, and the girls immediately

stepped back. "M-ma-mai…" Mai put her hands on her hips. The oppressing bride mimicked Kasumi's plea. "Well, get it **DONE**. In the car. Mary, you

do her hair!!" Mary was about to protest, but suddenly stumbled over her words. "DO HER FUCKING HAIR, **BITCH**." Mary was now fired up. "DON'T

CALL ME NAMES!!" Mai steamed. "IT'S **MY** FUCKING WEDDING!!!!!!!!!"

* * *

The men finally got to the rehearsal. Cutting it close. They had to clean up the room, and talked too long. Approaching the door, Ryo heard

screams. "It's Bridezilla…..**RUN!!!!!**" Ryo, Robert, Terry, Andy and Joe took off running, with Andy very much in the lead. Mai came out of the church,

seeing the guys run. "GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES IN HERE **NOW**!!!!!! DON'T **MAKE** ME THROW MY FUCKING FANS AT YOU, **ASSHOLES**!! SONS OF

MOTHERFUCKING **BITCHES**!!! ANDYYYYYYYYY!!!! YOUR ASS IS **MINE**!!!!!!!!!! I'VE **GOT** HEDGECLIPPERS FOR YOUR FUCKING PAL THERE!!!!!!"

* * *

Chizuru stood at the front. She looked a bit worried, and slightly uncomfortable. She watched as Mai marched back in with all of the guys

excruciatingly assaulted behind her in tow, Andy being the worst. "We… can start now?" the Kagura cautiously asked. Mai smiled. "Yes, Priestess."

Chizuru nervously, and quite awkwardly, laughed. In response of the proper name her friend gave her. Kim looked over at his friends. "I'm glad I

came on time…" he quipped to his wife.

* * *

At the wedding, it was finally that day. Andy stood at the altar waiting for Mai to come to him down the aisle. And here she came, to Duck King

playing synthesized organs. The man can play ANYTHING. You need him for a school dance, he's got you covered. Mai's long flowing bridal dress

was stunning. So careful in detail. The spill on the dress was done at the dry cleaners. She sent Xiangfei to do it, in which turned out to be a great

idea. She hauled butt like no one's business. So Mai's dress was back to being gorgeous.

* * *

"_Here comes the bride, Andy has died…_" Joe sang in a low tone with the music. Terry jabbed Joe. "_Dude…_" Andy was anxious. His future wife in a

matter of moments was coming to the altar. Yuri leaned over to King. "I, like, love Mai was all of my heart, but I can't wait until this is, like, over…"

Kasumi said, "**A**men," out loud. Mai, still walking down the aisle, shot a nasty look at Kasumi, who in response, pretended she was praying. It

didn't help anything. Xiangfei jabbed at Kasumi to stop. "_Do you want to end up like the guys did yesterday??_" The girls quickly straightened up

their acts.

* * *

Chizuru finally said the heartwarming: "I now pronounce you, Andrew Bogard and Mai Shiranui, husband and wife. You may now kiss the br-" Joe

coughed. Mai shot her head towards Joe. Her lip curled. "-ide….." Chizuru finished, clearly, exasperated. Ryo sighed, thinking Joe did it on purpose.

Terry shook his head, but smirked. Mai focused on kissing her man before they both left the altar down the aisle. "Andy," Mai began." Andy replied,

"yes, dear…" Mai dreamily continued. "This was totally worth it, don't you think??" Mary made a face that Mai didn't see. Andy smiled. "Guess it

was." Mai's eyes bulged. "Wait, **WHAT?**" Everyone fell silent. Duck King even stopped playing. Andy tried explaining himself. "No, I meant it was…it

was....I love you...." Andy knew his cue.

* * *

"**ANDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!**" Andy ran full speed out of the church. "**Shit!!!**" An extremely angry Mai was running some serious speed in her wedding

dress, and holding a high heel in one hand as a weapon. She threw the other at him earlier, almost nailing him in the head. "YOU **BASTARD!!!** GET

OVER HERE!!! YOU'RE FUCKING MINE, **NOW**, BITCH!!!! MRS. BOGARD'S COMING FOR YOUR ASS, MISTER!!!!!"

And so they lived happily ever after…. we hope….

*Just Married. XOXOXO*


End file.
